I meant my advice just for Double_a_92. By reading what he wrote I just think he might have trouble finding happiness in life until he outgrows the issue of money.
This advice is not meant to be generalized. A lot of people are perfectly capable of appreciating human beings in their life for what they are not for the bottom line they provide or cost and services rendered by them and can lead happy and harmonious life even with strain on resources. I'm just afraid that Double_a_92 is not one of those people, thus my advice.
It's not only about money. It's about balance and fairness. You ALSO provide life-long friendship and love to your wife, AND also financial support (I guess it's about money after all). So she should also provide more that just the love... I.e. doing housework in a proper way and taking care of your kids.
Or do you think it would by okay for the (employed) husband to suddenly stop working and go into social welfare because he feels like it?
I guess you could still accept the unfairness if there is nothing better, because we only have one life and it is probably nicer with a partner... But still.
You might get hit by a truck next week and then your wife, if she actually loves you, respects you and gives shit about you, won't dump you because you no longer have any money but will figure out how to get enough money to get you both through this.
If she is with you just for your money, or you are with her just to throw money at her and expect your laundry and cooking and cleaning to be taken care of then you might just as well skip the relationship. She might get actual job and you might get profesional services instead.
> Or do you think it would by okay for the (employed) husband to suddenly stop working and go into social welfare because he feels like it?
Of course it's ok to stop doing the job you don't want to do. Especially if you can get enough money elsewhere (social welfare) to survive.
Opposite of that is staying in the job you don't want to do and gradually loosing respect for yourself and suffering growing resentment towards yourself, your job, and the people you think are the reason you absolutely must never stop doing what you hate so they can get money.
You can always earn more money. But you can't unbreak your broken mind or relationship.
If you consider your job personal sacrifice and your money, your most important contribution then... well, it doesn't work well in the long run.
> I guess you could still accept the unfairness if there is nothing better, because we only have one life and it is probably nicer with a partner... But still.
Fair doesn't mean equal. And equal doesn't mean fair. It's best if both sides think they themselves got better part of the deal. It doesn't matter what and how much they are actually contributing by any objective measure. Perception is what matters.
If monetary contribution is what you value then find women that earns way more than you do. Then figure out what she values and you don't mind doing or acquiring, and give her that. You'll both live happily ever after together.
This advice is not meant to be generalized. A lot of people are perfectly capable of appreciating human beings in their life for what they are not for the bottom line they provide or cost and services rendered by them and can lead happy and harmonious life even with strain on resources. I'm just afraid that Double_a_92 is not one of those people, thus my advice.