Noticed this when I was in Germany/Austria as well. In America, if you go out drinking then that's the primary activity. It's what you're doing. But in central Europe socializing and seeing friends is the activity and you just happen to drink because that's what you do when you see your friends.
I’ve noticed that any bad habits or behaviors Americans have tend to be misunderstood when they aren’t being misrepresented or exaggerated in order to pile on.
Anecdote: we've had curfews/restrictions that prevented the American military from drinking alcohol at establishments in the local community, sometimes for over a year. Almost all of my peers at the time would rather sit at the Officers' Clubs on base and get drunk, as if it was their only option for socializing.
My take (granted, I had quit drinking years prior): I know you guys can't drink off-base, but....that's where all the WOMEN are (the military officer ranks in our Service is ~94% males). I would expect your desire to get laid to exceed your desire to hide inside your alcohol-infused comfort zone....
My peers: Nah....if I can't drink alcohol I don't wanna go out to meet anyone.
The people I hang out with (even to this day) go out to get laid, and if they get DRUNK that's just a side-effect. Most guys I know go out to get drunk, and if they get LAID, that's just a side-effect.
> I would expect your desire to get laid to exceed your desire to hide inside your alcohol-infused comfort zone....
Honest question: what is his realistic chance to get laid with non-prostitute? How much money would it cost to pay sex worker? I also suspect that going around bars while not drinking looking for girl to have sex with might involve a lot of rejection and a lot of effort.
> The people I hang out with (even to this day) go out to get laid,
I honestly never socialized with people like that. I had always stable relationships and most my friends tended to form those too. Not everyone is for quick hookups.
>>>Honest question: what is his realistic chance to get laid with non-prostitute?
At the time, pretty high. The clubs and bars were very active, and "gaijin-hunter" Japanese women are notoriously easy. If you are halfway-attractive and at least a LITTLE charismatic, you should be able to snag a one-night stand or two, and then a girlfriend in.....6 weeks? That's assuming going out Friday/Saturday every weekend. If you aren't drinking alcohol, it's not that expensive either. If you end up with a relationship that lasts a few months or more, I consider that a pretty good ROI.
>>>How much money would it cost to pay sex worker?
Depending on service (incall/outcall) and location...$100-$300+.
>>>I also suspect that going around bars while not drinking looking for girl to have sex with might involve a lot of rejection and a lot of effort.
It does put you "not on the wavelength" of people when they are drunk, doubly so if they are kinda dumb too. You can overcome these hurdles by being attractive, and knowing the right conversational hooks to say in their native language to build rapport quickly and lazily. Building that skillset does take time, and brings other risks (PUA's call it "calibration"....in my experience, "calibrating" for Japanese women can over-fit your social skills for a small dataset, and then your Game suffers when you engage with women from different cultures).
>>>I honestly never socialized with people like that. I had always stable relationships and most my friends tended to form those too. Not everyone is for quick hookups.
90% of my wingmen have been in stable relationships. That's never stopped any of us from adding to our harems. If you have a wife, get a mistress. If you have a mistress, get a side-chick. If you have a side-chick, get a fuck-buddy. If you have all four of those, bang all of them during the week, so on the weekend you can get some head in your car in the parking lot from a new girl, who might be a suitable replacement for any of the last 3 of your regulars (I don't recommend replacing your wife with a club-rat...).
I had a roommate that kept his accountant side-chick for over 5 years, even after his wife found out. She paid his $20,000 bail when he was getting kicked out of the country, no questions asked. That said....those kind of reliable women are rarely found in bars/clubs, but if you never venture outside of your fortified American enclave because you can't consume alcohol in town, how would a guy ever find out either way?
Thanks for answer. The prostitution sounds more expensive then I assumed (but I guess it factors in risk and periods without customers).
To the ending, your friends are kind of guys I really dont want to meet. I kind of assumed it was all about single guys having causual fun, now I feel sorry for their wifes. I honestly think better about guys that are not getting laid at the base.
From my (not op) experiences, oh yes.
Just last night I was talking to a potential bar investor and one of the huuuuge talking points was " how do we cater for the americans?"
I think Americans just aren't used to saying we're out to socialize. It's what's happening, but we're bad at it and we're not used to being explicit about it.
As a member of this target demographic, I would say that catering to American drinkers would be to provide a pretext to be at your establishment. You don't have to actually provide all that much, but if you provide a reason for being there that isn't, "Socialize with others" I bet you'd attract more Americans. In America we do "brewery tours" for example, but it doesn't even have to be related to alcohol itself ("good" music, board games, axe throwing, bumper cars, pub quiz, karaoke, etc.). What matters is that you're plausibly not there to "socialize", even though that's actually why you're there.
I disagree with this. Americans go out drinking with friends because alcohol helps you cut through the bullshit small talk and get to the real talk that everyone is afraid to initiate but eager to take part in. If we could all have perfectly candid conversations surrounding sensitive topics without alcohol, there would be no need for most bars to exist.
It’s kind of amusing when you think about it like a philosopher. I’m a bit older than the average HNer, probably, at 41 this year. It’s all the same fears and doubts. The human condition. Finding love, acceptance, belonging. Not facing down the human condition alone. That is what “big talk” is about to me.
I don't drink but I agree it's the social drug. It makes you want to interact with others. Drinking alone makes you want to go out and tell people what's on your mind.
I used to drink with friends and in that country there was a custom that bars close at a given time at night, and then we would go to someone's apartment to drink more. I remember on one occasion we were sitting around in someone's kitchen maybe 8 people. And at one point I realize everyone was talking at the same time. Everyone was talking so no-one was listening. Everyone wanted to get their point across.
