Very nice quote. I'm not quite middle aged, but I feel like I'm already in that vein and it annoys me to no end. Nice enough house, job, family, kids, schools, car, etc and no real passion right now to step it up a notch, or any idea how to draw more pleasure from the things and relationships I already have.

I think the only thing I really want now is for my yard to look better. When I have free time I landscape, which would have confused the hell out of my 21 year old self.

Do you like who you are for the most part and is your family happy and taken care of? Then it's not really a problem. You've got kids, a lot of people slow down a bit in their wantings at that point as they raise and care for them. As they start moving out of the house you and your wife will have more time and resources to spend on yourselves and each other.

Yeah, my family is happy and has everything they need and I'm content and mostly am happy with where my life is, but I just don't feel like I'm working toward anything anymore.

I'm 24 and I've already run out of things to want =/

get some kids; they'll keep you busy.

Seems like too much risk; what if I have children and I'm still depressed? What if they're depressed? No thanks.

Are you seeing a doctor or counselor for your depression? Talking things out with someone else, and counseling approaches like CBT can help quite a bit. Sometimes when I've been stuck in life and depressed, I've found that my internal dialogue is poorly structured and often circular or stuck in a negative spiral.

Talking to someone else, a friend, a stranger, a counselor, helped me sound out the ideas and often find my way forward and out of my rut.

I've found that talking and thinking about it makes it worse.

Most people who are happy just are and when they try to explain to you why you should be happy too they quickly run out of meaningful or convincing things to say. Ends up further reinforcing the feeling that it's all pointless.

Go outside. Seriously. Get some sunlight.

Happiness is a state of mind, which does not rest much on actual physical haves or haves not.

Of course, it's easier to be happy if you're young, rich and healthy than poor, sick and dying, but it's amazing how people of comparable situations have a very different outlook on life.

The key to happiness is this: you get to decide if you're happy or not.

>Go outside. Seriously. Get some sunlight.

Also exercise and socialize. Care for a pet.

>The key to happiness is this: you get to decide if you're happy or not.

Let's be realistic: this is not fully true, you do not have full control over yourself. Some may need external help and should seek it.

But certainly it's at least partially true. Realize that both happiness and sadness are irrational feelings which emerge from our subconscious. Your rational self can influence them to some degree with knowledge and effort. Listen to the advice from the experience of others: go outside, exercise, socialize. Find something you enjoy doing and do it.

The last line is really true with regards to happiness. Unfortunately, you have to be in the right place, mentally, in order to really appreciate it.

You can take it to mean: I'll be happy where I am, or I'm happy making these changes to get to whatever. Whichever helps right now is ok.

But, to me, the key to happiness in being happy in the now. Not the tomorrow. Not the yesterday. One hack that makes this easier is to be more thankful.

Anyway, you should probably be taking vitamin D supplements (especially if you are pigmented). Definitely helped me. You can 'decide' to be happy, but you give youself a better chance if you aren't chemically at the correct balance.

It may depend on the kind of depression/situation, but I tend to agree. Meds can help you feel better initially, but the important thing to think and plan about is how to break the vicious circle. Explore some place you weren't, talk to strangers, lose stereotype, lose yourself.

"If you've never wept and want to, have a child." - David Foster Wallace

http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a500/incarnations...

I think you're absolutely right about this.

There are many, many couples struggling in relationships who have a kid hoping it'll fix it. Instead, they break apart anyways, and now there's a kid who suffers as well.

I might say, though, myself: "When you're young, you think you want things. When you reach middle age, you want to think what you want."

I like it.

For myself it's a little like this:

"When you're young, you want things you are told you want. When you get(or lose) those things, you want to figure out what you really want. Because you are still(always?) unfulfilled."